Since I quit my job to go back to school 6 years ago I have felt like I was living in limbo…. Always in transition…. Sitting on the fence. After I graduated, the feeling remained. First with the Camp Nurse job with Concordia Language Villages in Bemidji knowing that that was a temporary gig. Then I worked the night shift at Sunrise Nursing Home in Two Harbors. This job built my confidence and was actually a very fun place to work… but my heart was in the Twin Cities so I knew it wouldn’t last. On the fence I remained. Then I took the night shift facility charge nurse position at a facility north of the twin cities that will remain nameless, simply because it was a nightmare. While there I questioned why I had even become a nurse in the first place. It made me incredibly sad that I hated going to work while I had only been an RN 6 months. It taught me a valuable lesson however. It taught me what kind of nurse I did NOT want to be.
I applied to many positions during this time and all the interviews seemed to happen in a two week window. I had 3 job offers on the table: 1) a very well paying position as a Unit Charge Nurse, day shift, in a dementia unit of a large LTC and rehab facility. 2) RN Case Manager with Hospice of the Twin Cities, with my area being Minneapolis with most patients coming from Hennepin County Medical Center, and 3) an evening shift RN in a very nice long term care facility 10 minutes from my home. I followed my heart and took the hospice RN position and have never been happier!
I have found that I wear many different nursing hats in my new role. A concept that I truly embraced while at St Scholastica was the concept of holistic healing – treating the mind, body, and spirit. I am able to work this concept every day and with every client. It is so much more than simply meeting the medical needs of a dying client. It may be providing respite for a caregiver… or it might mean bringing in the music, massage, or pet therapist in to help someone with their pain or anxiety. I work in neighborhoods that are typically low income and filled with a variety of different people. Somali, Hmong, Hispanic, Russian, Polish, African American… all races and cultures with one thing in common. All have a terminal illness and their days are numbered.
In the month that I have been in this position, I have seen many different people in a variety of circumstance.
I have seen beautiful old homes filled with antiques, studio apartments in low income developments, small neat homes in scary neighborhoods, and homes neglected and mistreated for years. I have seen a patient on a mattress in the living room with every space filled with caring family and friends. .. and I have seen a small studio apartment, neat , tidy and organized with many things but the patient alone with no one to care for him but our hospice team.
I have seen patients with the question on their hearts on why God hasn’t taken them yet… and patients wondering why God is taking them this soon.
I finally feel that I am where I am meant to be, doing what I do best. I have so much to learn but I am sure I will continue to feel this way throughout my career. My team includes a team leader, 2 RNs other than me, 2 night RNs, 2 LPNs, 2 Aides, a Homemaker, a Social Worker, a music therapist, a pet therapist, a massage therapist, and a chaplain. Together, we are amazing.
